This was the headline I saw on Yahoo this morning:
When I say it I thought, "Umm because they are thinking, feeling, autonomous beings; who have needs and desires of their own." I would also like to know how many adults actually do as their told. None of us do all the things we know we should do. But anyway the article was interesting. The main point being that they think differently than adults or even older children. I also like that they were able to document the mental effort toddlers go through. I try to tell people all the time, that being little is hard. The lack of empathy and compassion most people raise their children with is shocking. For a prime example see this fairly good article about stemming tantrums and the disgusting comments section. I wish I could convey to those commentors and all parents like them, that you take so many risks by parenting that way. I'll admit their children may behave better than mine at times, but I'm not willing to pay the steep prices they are and will pay.
And while I've brought up the topic of tantrums check out this must read article:
Now my daughter had a meltdown while I was writing this very blog post. I tried giving her affection, but that wasn't what she needed. So I took her to our bed, shared a snack and a picture book with her and she calmed down. At the moment she is nursing because the snack was homemade rice crackers and almond butter, as in very dry. I find that she is very logical and tries very hard. She gets hurt, confused and frustrated. I don't think of her tantrums as her trying to get her way, I think of them as her trying to cope. I let her express her feelings, and I try to comfort her. It has nothing to do with her getting her way. I don't understand why this whole my child has to learn they can't get their way is so important. Sometimes she can have what she desires and sometimes she can't. But her emotions are always ok. She can always find love, safety and acceptance with me. For me that makes it all worth it.
2 comments:
Plenty of adults still have tantrums! I still have the occasional crying meltdown moment too :)
Great post! I have always hated the idea that there are "good" babies and "bad" babies, and I think it goes for toddlers too. It breaks my heart when I hear people talk about how annoying their toddlers are. Yes, they are challenging at times, but when you look at them from the perspective you shared in this post, it is much easier to have empathy and patience with the amazing miracles that they are!
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