but let me start with a list of physical parts of a woman.
Thighs
Hips
Waist
breasts/chest
Lips/mouth
Hair
Hips
Waist
breasts/chest
Lips/mouth
Hair
Considering the way women are portrayed and viewed then that list is rather sexy.
But that really bothers me. I'm fine with being beautiful and my husband finding me attractive. But females are made so erotic as to be nothing more than an glorified sex toy. An object that is either used or hidden. Wrong by our very nature.
I find our hair an interesting example. Oh the drama that is hair. Women on makeover shows cry over it. It is often forcibly removed as a means of fetish or punishment in books and film.(I looked up "cut her hair" on Google books almost everything was degrading/erotic/abusive. Also there is a site that chronicles on screen haircuts almost all are on females and are erotic/abusive/degrading) There is a great big world of fetish about it. (I sadly know about this, since a part of my abuse as a child related to my hair. So now haircuts frighten and intrigue me. Look up hair on the Internet, you'll find interesting stories and hairstyle ideas and you'll also find degradation, porn and abuse.) And Men never receive this kind of depiction, nor would a list of their non- sexual body parts be so salacious.
Similarly our breasts are made for mammalian nourishment, but they are so highly conceived as sexual, that a photo of a child nursing sends people into fits and at times even gets law enforcement involved. What bothers me is that there is sooooo much degradation of women out there that no one really cares about. From horror films, music and video games to advertising. We are so saturated that I think many have stopped noticing all together. But when people are up in arms over public breastfeeding more than the are abusive fetishes and/or poor music/film/written depictions of women we have a real problem.
Also I would also like to rant about the unfortunate idea that if a man has a pornography addiction is behooves woman to be "sensitive" to that. As in cover up, in our clothes, in our breastfeeding. The breastfeeding one really pisses me off because it means that supporting a man doing something wrong is more important than supporting a woman doing something right.
As I said we have problems...
Part of my solution is talking about it, and breastfeeding publicly. (without the poncho)
What's your solution?
7 comments:
I don't know but I appreciate you putting this out in the open. You are right, it is sad and makes no sense.
I understand how you can feel so strongly about the breastfeeding thing, but simply put, without even getting into male subjugation of women and sexualization of breasts and all that. I believe that the LDS faith talks about us being modest at all times.
I believe if we're temple worthy sisters, and we understand the endowment, we are instructed that we make certain covenants about how we will wear certain things, and I believe there is only one simple reason given why we wear these things.
I know you feel strongly, and I am not saying you are wrong...but I think that you fail to even see how other people may simply feel it's a covenant to hide our nakedness. Not out of shame, not out of oppression, but because we make that covenant and promise to our Heavenly Father. Plain and simple.
To think that people are put off for whatever other number of reasons than a sexual thing, I think it shows a great disrespect for the spectrum of other people's beliefs of why we cover nakedness. To just do it and say, "My way is right and I don't care" or "I have to be a crusader" shows a very limited understanding of our place in the world. It puts us at the center of the universe and says everyone need orbit around my way because it's right. I mean seriously, if it was reversed, and the person said "No matter what, all breastfeeders should be covered in hot oppressive blankets and hidden in a stinky bathroom, and I dont' care if anyone thinks differently" you'd be up in arms saying that is wrong. But yet, you think that your way is the right way, and you do it continaully without any regard to what others think.
With something like breastfeeding, it's a beautiful wonderful necessity and all, but that still doesn't make it necessary to do in front of everyone with no regard to how others feel. And maybe it's because you feel you haven't been heard on other things in your life, and therefore I'm not going to hear how others feel, I don't know. But I see a lot of talk on this blog how your way is the only right way, and how you pity others for their poor choices. Sad.
I think love making is a very beautiful and natural thing, but I still don't feel that if it's okay to just go and do it wherever I want and who cares if others are uncomfortable.
We are daughters of our Heavenly Father, and he has asked both us as well as his sons to be modest. We are told to cover our nakedness. Plain and simple. I'm still looking for the exception in the temple ceremony where it says "except for breastfeeding." or maybe it's in some church publication, I still haven't found it yet. Plain and simple to do what you want with no regard to how another feels seems very very selfish.
The association of a breastfeeding mother with immodesty is part of the problem. If you stop sexualizing women, you will stop wrongly penalizing her for feeding a child with throwing a blanket over the baby's head.
In the Church's wonderful publication "A Parent's Guide," which is a 52 page instruction booklet for teaching children about modesty, chastity, and sexuality, it states on page 37, "It is the world that makes the divinely created body an object of carnal lust. For example, it makes the female breasts primarily into sexual enticements, while the truth is that they were intended to nourish and comfort children."
When we look upon a breastfeeding mother as being immodest, or impose restrictions on her God-given ability to nourish and comfort her children, we fly in the face of God's intended purpose for that part of the female body. requiring her to move somewhere else implies shame and sexuality where there should be neither.
In Mormon churches in other countries, no one bats an eye when the endowed Relief Society president breastfeeds her baby while addressing the RS sisters, or the Bishop's wife unbuttons her blouse to breastfeed a child while sitting up on the stand. I know, because both my husband and I served in countries where this was common. This is not a modesty issue or covenant issue. It is a cultural issue.
Also, if you actually knew Jillynn you would know she is one of the least selfish people in the world and we need more people like her. Everyone kept telling me I was being surprisingly calm with my response but I must have missed the part where you stoop to calling her names.
So I would like to add, on top of what I said previously, shut your petty judgmental trap. Jillynn deserves much more respect than that.
(this is an edited version of my previous comment)
Jenny,
I'm astounded as the closed-mindedness of YOUR perspective. Throughout your entire comment you make it sound like the only possible way is YOUR way and that if we choose differently, we are violating sacred covenants. The covenants are not as clear-cut as you imply they are. Of all the times I've gone to the temple, I have never heard the part where they tell you exactly how many inches of each part of the body must be covered.
I will never believe that a woman nursing her baby is violating her covenants or not 'hiding her nakedness'.
Are you violating your covenants if you wear a swim suit? Your lower thigh or your upper arm are usually covered by garments. But there's no exception for swimsuits mentioned in the temple. So are we all violating our covenants when we wear a swimsuit, even if we wear coverups over it (because most coverups don't go quite to the kneecap like the garment should)?
I'm surprised by the strong opinions expressed! I understand both sides of it though. I breastfeed, but I cover up with either a blanket or making sure my shirt is covering most my breast. I'm not so worried about showing people my breasts, although I'd rather not flash everyone if possible, but I also know that it makes some people uncomfortable. I don't think that covering myself while I nurse is oppressing my right to breastfeed. I feel welcome to feed my baby anywhere that I am, I cover up out of respect for the people around me. I'm sure a big part of it is just a cultural thing, and I probably wouldn't mind not covering if it was more a part of our culture not too, and if I know I'm around people who don't mind, like my family and some friends, then I don't worry about it. Anyway, I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to feed your baby and not worrying about having a blanket, but I think babies can be nourished and other peoples feelings respected at the same time. That said I think your awesome Jillyn and you should do whatever you feel best about :)
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